When the Hell Are We?
by McMuffinDragon
Summary: I, the evil author, have taken Aang, Katara, Sokka and Zuko and am placing them into the history of the world. Our world. First stop, Rome! Complete.
1. When In Rome

**For Mr. Siegfried, my history teacher**

**The only thing I learned from you is that the Romans didn't wear pants.**

**Three stories at once not smart. Ahem, I, the evil author, am taking Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Zuko on a crazy voyage through the history of the world, our world. _Dragon side: How are you going to do that? You're failing history. _No I am not! Anyway, enjoy…**

_**When the Hell Are We?**_

**_Chapter One: When In Rome_**

Katara sat on the lake shore threading a stream of water through her fingers. Aang sat next to her making sculptures out of pebbles. Sokka was dozing in the shade under a tree. A soft breeze blew and everything was peaceful.

Somewhere in the middle of the ocean on a boat, Zuko sat meditating. Each timehe breathed, the candles around him flared. A soft breeze blew through his window and everything was peaceful.

Or so they all thought.

To anyone standing in the room or on the lakeside, all that would have been left of the people there were small holes in the ground or floor. Zuko felt as though he were being ripped limb from limb. Katara screamed as she, Aang and Sokka were flung into a worm hole. The screaming wind and pain seemed endless.

Suddenly, it all stopped.

Zuko fell hard onto the ground. He realized something. He had different clothes on, what looked like a white dress fastened on one of his shoulders leaving part of his chest bare. "Where the hell am I?" he asked the open air. "I'd like to know too," said Sokka as he came up the hill. The Avatar walked next to him both dressed similar to himself. The girl walked a few paces behind them in a loose linen dress. Zuko immediately trusted out his fist expecting a plume of fire to come out of it but nothing happened. He stared at it dumbstruck and tried again, still nothing. "Why can't I bend?" He bellowed to the heavens.

"Because we've taken your bending abilities away," a tall blonde girl had appeared out of nowhere and was standing next to him.

"And who are you?" Aang asked looking into her bright green eyes.

"Why, I'm the author," she said very matter-of-factly. "And welcome," she said gesturing over her shoulder to a city of white stone none of them had noticed before, "To ancient Rome." And she smiled.

**More maybe next week I think, I don't know…school play's this weekend I don't think I'll have time. Anywho, it'll get updated sometime soon…**

**The Crying Dragon**


	2. Rome If You Want To

**Wow, hadn't expected this story to be so popular. _Dragon side: People only read this because they feel sorry for you. _Shut up, shut up, shut up! **

**_A.R. SteelClaw: Cool name! This isn't a frat party, it's fanfiction. Screw it… I declare this fanfic to be…a frat party! Toga! Toga! Toga! LOL!_**

**_Cala Akina Morushiku: Love your name. Is this really an original fic? Someone over the course of fanficdom must have thought of this. _**

**_Zukoscute2: Alexander the Great was Macedonian. After Greece, before Rome. He wanted people to think he saw Greek though because the Greeks were great at that time. Dragon side: Okay. You've done enough talking._**

_**When the Hell Are We?**_

**_Chapter Zwei (German for Two): Rome If You Want To_**

**_There's a song by the B52's called "Roam If You Want To" That's where I got this title. On with the story…_**

"Rome?" Aang asked.

"Yes, Rome." The author retorted, "Land of the Coliseum, Land of togas, and Land of tall column things."

"Why are we here?" Sokka asked.

"Because the readers need something to read." The author said.

"Readers?" Zuko asked, "So people are going to be reading this."

"No silly," the author answered, "They're reading it right now!" Of course the "You're crazy look" was given to her. "I'm serious." She sighed. "Whatever. Just come with me." She began walking and everyone noticed something strange. Her feet weren't touching the ground. It looked as though she were standing on an invisible box 6 inches tall.

"Why aren't you on the ground?" Katara asked.

"Because I'm not part of this world. I'm visible and audible only to you. I'm like a ghost. Things pass right through me. You on the other hand, are as solid as you were before you came here. You're exactly the same, except for your clothes and the resent fact that you can no longer bend." She turned her back on them and continued to walk toward the city. Not wanting to be left alone, they followed her.

"What exactly are we supposed to do?" Zuko asked. He didn't like this girl, her time travel, or her readers.

"Hear that everyone?" The author asked the empty air, "Zuko doesn't like you." She laughed, "I am so evil…anyway, do whatever you want except when

I come and tell you to go somewhere. Just a few things, don't kill anyone. Don't get yourselves killed. Basically, don't tamper with history because what happens in _this _world, may affect things that happen in _your _world. Oh, don't fall in love either. I mean with people at this time. You're free to fall in love amongst yourselves, but no one else." Aang stole a look at Katara as they walked.

"What do **_we_** get out of this?" Sokka asked angrily. "You and your demented 'readers' get some entertainment but we're the victims, what do we get?"

"You get to be unaffected by time or pestilence. What's better than that?" They were on the outskirts of the city now and the author had stopped to look at her victims.

"What's so great about that?" Sokka retorted.

"Wait 'till the 1300's. Then you'll see what's so great." They walked on in silence. The author led them into a market place when people from all around the world were trading and bargaining for everything from fish to jewelry to swords to olive oil.

"Can they see us?" Aang asked looking around at the people.

"Not when I'm around." The author said looking at the scene of people frozen in a various poses. "In fact, whenever I'm with you, time is stopped. Oh, I remember now! Gather close." They all huddled around the author. "Lift your head," she said carefully tilting Katara's head back, "Open your eyes," she produced from nowhere, two contact lenses and put one in each of Katara's eyes. "Say 'ahh'" She produced a small silver pill and dropped it down her throat. Lastly she put two small disks, each no bigger than a dime, and put one in each of Katara's ears. "Done," the author said.

"What did you do?" Katara asked as the author began the same treatment on each of the others.

"Congratulations," she said, "these people will now understand you when you talk and you can understand them. You can now read too. I never figured out what to do about writing but I don't think you'll be writing while you're here. Now, I all y'all don't mind, I'm going to leave and let you guys explore." With that, she disappeared. Time started again. An incredible amount of noise met their ears, shouting, singing, laughter, instruments, and a variety of animal sounds. The four poor souls looked around. They were stranded in a city of strangers in a strange world.

"Shit," Zuko said quietly.

**Thus ends chapter 2. How was it? Took 3 days and 7 pages on Word. This chapter was mostly explanation, not much action I'll admit. I'll answer a possible question now. The 1300's was when the Black Death ravaged Europe for those who may not know. I might update later this week, I don't know. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! The day when we celebrate the colonists who slaughtered hundreds of Indians just so they could survive. Selfish bastards…**

**The Crying Dragon**


	3. I don't have anymore Rome puns

_**I don't own them! Slavery is wrong, unless it's for humor!**_

_**You're all awesome!**_

**_Cricket: No love here sorry. I'm a humor writer. I've got a couple romances planed for later. But this is just me torturing characters for your amusement. _**

_**Avatar cast starts to yell about how 'unfair this is' **_

**_Life isn't fair besides, you aren't even real. _Katara: You are ahorrible person!_ Me: I try._**

**_Raven-Foreverdark: Zuko hates everyone. _**

**_A.R. SteelClaw: There will be thoughts. I just had to get the basics down. Now the real fun begins. Thoughts are italicized. _**

**_Gogglehead Lover: It's sugerhyped reviewers like you who keep this thing going. _**

**_XSeabiscutX: Thanks for the offer._**

**_KataraxZukoshipper: They're going to the Coliseum. Probably next chapter. There will be lions and elephants and chariots and stuff. Yes, I am evil_. Zuko: You got that right!_ Me: But that's why people read my stories. evil grin _**

_**Now that that's out of the way, I can start.**_

**_Chapter 3: I Have Run Out Of Witty Titles Involving Rome. Message Me If You Have Ideas._**

Aang immediately began running around the market looking at and touching everything. Not wanting to be left alone with the prince of fire, Sokka and Katara quickly followed Aang.

Zuko stood there. _I don't know anyone. The three people I have a connection with just ran off. _For the first time since he'd dueled with his father, he was scared. _Pull yourself together. _He told himself. _You've been through worse. _Zuko stood there trying to sum up the courage to move.

"Get out of the way!" Someone behind him yelled. Zuko turned just in time to be hit by a cart full of cabbages. Zuko fell on his side and so did the majority of the cart's cabbages. Zuko looked up to see the outline of a man shaking his fist's in the air. "You're gonna pay for this, punk!" He yelled. If Zuko could have bended, he would have fought, but since he couldn't, he swiftly got up and ran through the throng pushing and shoving until he was sure the insane cabbage man wasn't chasing him anymore. _Weirdo…_ he thought as he strode through the crowd.

"Look at this one, Sokka," Katara said brightly picking up a red-violet linen dress. _We're stuck in a freaky parallel world and she **still **finds time to shop. That's girls for you. Speaking of girls, where's Prince Zuko…_Sokka looked around the crowd. "Sokka, you're not even looking!" Katara said impatiently. "What?" Sokka asked, "Very nice," he said looking at the dress for a second. Then he resumed staring around the crowd. Katara sighed and turned to the man selling the dresses.

"How much," she asked.

"For you?" he replied, "Free. I don't have many genuine Phoenician dresses, but then again, the world doesn't have many genuine beauties like you." He said, smiling at her.

"Hey bub!" Sokka yelled turning on the man, "Keep off my sister!"

"Hey man," the guy retorted, "I've got a wife and kids back in Greece, I'm not interested in your sister." This guy was only about eighteen and he had a family. "I'm just trying to make a living selling exotic foreign merchandise, and complementing the lovely ladies who purchase my things. I don't need you telling me off for a simple kind word to her. Someone needs to pay some attention to her because you clearly don't." He said not another word to Sokka but turned to Katara, said "Ma'am," bowed, picked up his cart full of wares, and strode off calmly. Katara scowled at Sokka and turned to Aang who as admiring a set of carved staffs.

Zuko continued wandering through the crowds. He didn't like admitting he was lost, but he didn't have a clue as to where he was. _I have to find the Avatar and his peasants._ Not watching where he was going, Zuko bumped into a man pushing a cart full of linen dresses. "Have you seen a kid?" he asked immediately, "Bald with an arrow on his head. Possibly with two other. Brown haired and tan. A girl and as boy."

"Yeah," the man replied, "I never saw the bald kid but I did see the other two."

"Where and when," Zuko quickly followed. _Thank Agni._

"That way," he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, "No more than ten minutes ago." He hadn't even finished and Zuko was pushing through the crowd the Avatar's direction.

"Thank you!" he yelled over his shoulder. The man shrugged. _I'm meeting the strangest people today._ He thought. He picked up his cart and took two steps before he crashed into another cart full of cabbages. "My cabbages!" the cart's owner yelled.

"These are fine quality staffs," Aang said, running his fingers over their intricate designs.

"Don't you think we should try to find Zuko?" Katara asked.

"Why on earth would we do that?" Sokka yelled.

"Well, it's just that, it's getting late and I don't think we should leave him stranded." Katara said hoping that Aang would agree to look.

"Okay," Aang said, "Enemy or not, nobody deserves to be abandoned. Katara, you and Sokka go that way." He pointed to his left, "And I'll cover over there," he looked right.

"No need," said a voice behind him. Aang turned around to see a dirty and sweaty Prince Zuko.

"What happened to you?" Katara asked looking him up and down.

"Nothing," he said simply.

"Well, we'd better find a place to stay," Sokka said, "Before it gets dark."

"Excuse me," said a smooth voice. They all turned to see a tall olive skinned girl with an ox looking at them. "I couldn't help overhearing you. If you need a place to stay, I'm sure my papa wouldn't mind hosting you all." All three boys tried to say something but all their jaws had dropped.

"That's very kind," Katara said filling the silence. "Thank you." The girl giggled softly as she looked at the boys.

"Follow me then," she began leading the ox and the boys through the crowd as Katara walked beside her. _I don't like this girl._ She thought._ There's something strange about her._

**Right-o! Another chapter down. Yes, the cabbage guy made an appearance. I'd had that planned forever. Sorry it took so long. Writer's block with several projects can cause big delays. I had the beginning of this chapter planned but I couldn't figure out of the life of me where to go from there. But it's done, I think it's good. I have like a week off so I'll start writing more.**

**Happy Christmachanukwanzaka everyone.**

**The Muffin Dragon **


	4. Wanted: Rome related titles!

**_Pirateninjelover: I hope I've brightened Rome for you._**

**_ArcherofDarkness and Callie: She's just an OC, right now, a last minute; an "I need to end this chapter but how". They'll spend a while with her, I'll give her a name, it'll be fun. Thank for complimenting my muffin based alias. Thanks, I like you PN too._**

**_XSeabiscuitX: I endeavor to satisfy._**

**_Maidenhair: Thanks, Draver!_**

**_Zukofan5: What I say goes!_**

**_Zukoscute2: Yes indeed. I specialize in jealousy._**

**_Almostinsane: Here's your update! Enjoy…_**

_**Disclamer: Don't own, wish did. **_

**_This chapter is specifically dedicated and written for my friends, Meg and Raina. Who could use some cheering up since their science teacher is a big, fat JERKFACE!_**

**_I really never excepted this to be so popular. But, by the order of my friend Meg, I'm writing more. So, let's go!_**

_**When the Hell Are We?**_

_**Chapter Four, I think: I need Rome puns, I've run out**_

****"I'm Orcus by the way," the girl said as they walked through less crowed streets.

"That's a very pretty name," Katara said. _Probably means floozy. _She thought.

"It means 'death'," Orcus said quietly.

"How'd you get a name like that?" Katara asked._ Poor girl, to have a name like 'death'. _

"My mother died soon after giving birth to me." She said in barely above a whisper as though she were about to cry. "My father named me. I never even knew my mother."

"I'm so sorry," Katara said putting a comforting hand on her shoulder as they walked.

"It's okay," Orcus choked. Then she suddenly brightened up. "So, enough about me. Tell me about you."

"Well," Katara began, "I'm Katara. That's my brother, Sokka." She turned around to the boys who were still speechless and dumbstruck. "My friend Aang. And," She finished in a flat tone, "Zuko."

"Mmm, hmm," Orcus murmured nodding to each of them. "You have such exotic names. You aren't from this area are you?"

"Well actually," Katara started to talk but was interrupted.

"Stop," said a voice at her shoulder. It was the author.

"Can I help you?" Katara asked._ Intruding bitch…_She thought.

"Come now!" the author said loudly, "There's no need for foul language. I'll get to the point. What were you about to say before I stopped time?"

"I was about to say we were from a different world," Katara sighed.

The author made a buzzer noise. "No! Don't do that! She may seem smart, but she doesn't have a clue that other worlds even exist! Just like you didn't know that before this whole thing started."

"Then where should I say we're from?" Katara asked angrily.

"Say you're from out east. She'll know generally where that is. You don't have to specify." The author said blankly.

"Even frozen in time she's pretty," Sokka said dumbly, still staring at Orcus.

"Okay…" the author said looking at Sokka strangely. "You are going to try to keep their tongues off the floor aren't you?" She asked Katara. "The rules of the game say 'no love'. So **no love**."

"I'll try," Katara replied, "But I can't make any promises."

"Okay, good," the author said, "Keep your story straight. You're from where, again?"

"Out east," Katara said simply.

"Good girl! You'll be fine." With that, the author disappeared and time was thrown back in motion.

"We're from the east," Katara said.

"I would have guessed that," Orcus said. "Well here we are. Home sweet home." They were outside a large house two stories, with many open court yards and lots of farmland around it. "Vita!" She called. A girl a couple years older than Katara stepped out. "Vita," Orcus said, "I found this group at the market. They're from out east and need a place to stay. Do you think it would be alright with papa if we boarded them?"

"Hmm," she said, "I'll tell Acerbus to ask father." She called for the one named 'Acerbus' who turned out to be a tall boy of about eighteen. "Ask father if we may give shelter to some travelers." Acerbus nodded and turned back into the house. While they waited for him to return, another boy of about fifteen strolled out and found them.

"What's going on?" He asked looking at the newcomers with great curiosity.

"Audro," Vita said, "Orcus found them in the market. They're from the east."

"But their attire is Roman," Audro said looking at them up and down. Before anything more could be said, Acerbus returned.

"Father wishes to meet them," he said simply. "In the center courtyard."

"Well," Orcus said pulling on Katara's arm, "Come on." Katara followed Orcus, still puzzled about the events of the day.

_**Okay, name meaning time. Orcus as was explained means death in Latin. Vita is life. Acerbus means dark. Audro means light. Yes, I do have some opposite thing going on here and no I didn't know this Latin before so I did research. I know it's not very long but I'm sort of sleep deprived right now so I did pretty well for my current state of being. More later. I need sleep. **_

_**Happy New Year**_

_**The Muffin Dragon **_


	5. Rome Sweet Rome

**_Shieldmadien: Egypt's doing its own thing. I over looked them, I'm going in the order my history class is going so next is…the Vikings!_**

**_EctoPlasmicGoo: I love your name! My pleasure to entertain a member._**

**_Velgma: Why did you kick Sokka? That's my job._**

**_Avafangirl: Orcus is trouble. Took me forever to memorize the spelling._**

**_Davis: I'm keeping it up right now!_**

**_Zukoscute2: You aren't supposed to like her. But she's not evil._**

**_Ponyz: Did it make you feel better? If you say 'no' I'll make the buzzer noise._**

**_Almostinsane: How's this for soon?_**

**_XSeabiscutX: Thanks, those will get used._**

**_ArcherofDarkness: I have slept. Now I'm wide awake to write. Is there a problem with being a manifestation of fantasy and McDonalds? _**

_**PS: I'd like to buy a vowel please. An A. May I solve the puzzle? "A Kick-Ass Fanfic!" Yay!**_

_**Let's get on with the show!**_

_**When the Hell Are We?**_

**_Chapter Five: Rome Sweet Rome _**

_**I thank my friend Meg for this title.**_

Katara was almost running trying to keep up with Orcus. Aang, Sokka and Zuko were having almost no trouble at all. They ran through long hallways covered with mosaics portraying heavenly figures.

"Hurry up, Katara!" Orcus yelled from the end of the hall. "The courtyard's just up here. My father doesn't like to wait." Katara jogged up the hall to meet them. Orcus slowed to a calm walking pace. The five of them entered an open court. On the far side, there was a man sitting casually on a stone bench shaded by thick honeysuckle. He was of about his late thirties. Dark hair streaked with gray. When Orcus saw him she sprinted the length of the yard and threw her arms around his neck.

"Papa," she said softly into his ear.

"My little ray of sunshine," he cooed back. He looked at Katara and Co. "So," he said, "These are the travelers Acerbus told me about."

"Yes sir," Katara said and she curtsied. "This is my brother, Sokka. My friend, Aang. And Zuko." The boys seemed to have come out of their trances. Aang jumped out and gave the man his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said brightly.

"Pleasure's all mine," he said, "I'm Abbas. Please make yourselves at home. What's mine is yours."

"Thank very much sir," Katara said, "That's very kind."

"Stop with the 'sir' stuff," Abbas said, "There's no need for it. Catena!" he called. A slave girl of no older than thirteen came out. "Show the guests to some rooms. I'm sure they want to rest."

"Yes sir," Catena said bowing. She turned to Katara and Co. "This way," she said quietly leading them through the halls. They went up to the second floor. "Here you are," She opened a door into a large bed room with a huge window with a beautiful view of the city in the setting sun.

"I'll take this room!" Sokka said loudly shoving Catena to the side as he ran in and jumped onto the bed.

"Sokka!" Katara said scolding as Zuko helped Catena up. "Say you're sorry."

"You're sorry," Sokka said sarcastically looking at her from his bed.

"It's okay," Catena whispered, "I'm fine. It happens all the time."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Katara began but she was quickly cut off by Sokka

"See, you **_are_** sorry!" he laughed until Katara slammed the door and his guffawing was muffled.

"He just…" She trailed off.

"…a jerk?" Zuko offered. Katara nodded laughing softly.

"Yeah, he's just a jerk," she said

"Well, let me show you more rooms," Catena said. They walked to the eastern side of the house. Catena opened the door to reveal a similar room, with a view of rolling green hills and a twilight sky.

"I'll take this room," Zuko said striding past Katara and Catena. "The farther away I am from the _jerk_, the better." He said with a smile and he closed the door. The next room looked over the center court. Aang took it gladly. Katara was taken to the last remaining room on the south side. This room looked over the farmland.

"May I ask when we eat supper?" Katara asked. She hadn't eaten all day. _Thanks_ _to the stupid 'author'._

"Someone will fetch you when it is time to eat," Catena said, "Now you can rest." She left and closed the door. Katara lay down on the bed and sighed. _Can't remember the last time I slept in a real bed. Been sleeping in a sleeping bag too long… _Before she knew it, Katara was out cold.

_**Abbas means father.**_

_**Catena means chain, because she's a slave.**_

_**Huzzah! Another chapter down! I think this is the fastest I've ever updated. I've been writing for four straight hours. I'll write more next weekend.**_

_**The Muffin Dragon**_


	6. Caesar's Salad Days

**_Okay, sorry I didn't update sooner. Huge tests kicked my ass. Plus I've been working on making the chapters longer so I don't really have to update so frequently. NOTE: The group is, finally, going to the Coliseum. NEXT CHAPTER! I've been promising it forever. I would have done it sooner if one big historical road block wasn't in my way. Fortunately, that road black is taken care of in this chapter. _**

_**When the Hell Are We?**_

**_Chapter Six: Caesar's Salad Day's_**

**Wow, that's lame!**

"Get up Kat!" Was the first thing Katara heard as she was shaken awake. She mumbled something about seal jerky and rolled over.

"Let me try," Katara recognized Aang's voice. She felt him blow hard in her face. She opened her eyes groggily and blinked several times on the bright morning light.

"Whadya do that for…" Katara said sounding drunk.

"We wanna go down to breakfast," Sokka said, "Aang was the one who wanted to wake you up."

"Where's Zuko?" Katara asked groggily as she stood up and swayed slightly.

"He's down stairs already," Aang said, "Come on! Let's go!" He grabbed Katara's hand and ran down the hall with her. In no time, they were in a large airy dining hall with huge glassless windows. Orcus, Abbas, Vita, Acerbus, Audro, and Zuko were there. **AN: These names are bitches to remember the spelling of. **Abbas quickly got up and welcomed them.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked Katara as he pulled out a seat for her next to Audro who looked at her and smiled.

"Fine, thank you," Katara said politely.

"I don't believe we ever were properly acquainted," Audro said smoothly, "I'm Audro and you are…?"

"Katara," Katara said.

"Pleasure to meet you, Katara" Audro said taking her hand and softly kissing it. "Katara," he whispered, "That's a lovely name,"

"Thank you," Katara said slightly embarrassed and blushing furiously. She looked across the table at Sokka who saw glaring poniards at Audro. If the table hadn't been so wide, Katara would have kicked him.

"So," Abbas said sitting down back at his stop at the head of the table. "I was wondering," He was quickly cut off by Audro.

"Run for your lives guy!" He yelled at the top of his voice, "He was wondering!" Everyone laughed at him except Zuko who flashed a brief smile. Zuko was actually surprised to see that even Abbas laughed at his son's jest rather then getting angry. _Not like Father. He would have had me beaten if **I **ever did something like that._ _Or another Agni Kai. _Zuko winced at the thought.

"Is something wrong?" Vita who was sitting next to him asked."

"Nothing," Zuko said blankly. Vita only nodded then turned back to her father who had started to speak again

"Anyway," Abbas continued. "I was wondering if you kids would be at all interested in going to a senate meeting today."

"What's a senate?" Aang asked immediately.

"It's the government." Acerbus said plainly. "Caesar's gonna be at this one, right Papa?"

"Indeed," Abbas replied, "He has something very important to tell the citizens of Rome. So, how 'bout it?" He mainly asked Katara.

"I wouldn't be opposed," She answered. "What about you guys?" Zuko shrugged aloofly. Aang eagerly nodded. Sokka opened his mouth to say no but was cut off.

"Say 'yes'," Sokka turned around to see the author standing behind him.

"Can't you go **_one_** day without barging in like that?" Katara asked angrily.

"It's **my** story! I'll do whatever the hell I want and there is nothing you can do about it." She said smugly.

"Oh, really?" Sokka said as he picked up his chair and threw it at the author. Just as she had said yesterday, it flew straight through her and landed with a crash a couple few behind her.

"Go get it," the author said plainly.

"I've got a question," Zuko said

"Ask away," the author said as she kicked Sokka's butt as he walked past her with his chair.

"How did you do that?" Sokka asked angrily as he sat down. "I thought things went right through you."

"Things like that chair go through me when I wish them to. And I wished to kick you, so I did." She said sweetly. Zuko coughed loudly to get her attention. "I'm sorry. I forgot you can't go very long without attention can you?" She spoke like she was taking to a four year old. "Go on." Zuko scowled at her but didn't make anything of her statement. _She's running the show for now._

"Do you have a name? We've just called you 'you' this whole time. Surely you have a name."

"I _do_ have a name, though it is of no importance to you or this story. But if you **must** call me **something**, call me 'Dragon'."

"'Dragon'? What kind of name is that?" Aang asked

"It's not my name," Dragon replied, "I'm not telling you my real name. Now, I have to go. Sokka, you're going to the senate meeting. One of the most important events in Roman occurs today."

"What?" Katara asked.

"Nuh uh...not telling." She said and she vanished. Time began again and Sokka quickly said yes.

"Great!" Abbas said, "We'll be leaving soon."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

About an hour later, they were walking into the city. They went into the senate building. Everyone stood before a large raised platform with a few chairs on it. **AN: The real senate had about 300 members but I couldn't think of a good layout so I decided on this. **In the centre seat was a man of about his mid 50s. Around him were several other men of similar age.

"See him?" Abbas pointed to the man in the center. Katara nodded. "He's Caesar. And _he_." Abbas pointed to the man at Caesar's right, "Is Marcus Brutus, Caesar's right hand man and best friend."

"I have something to tell you." Katara jumped and saw that it was Dragon who spoke. She got the attention of the others and turned to listen to her. "I wanted to warn you that what you are about to witness is graphic. And I **must** ask you **not to say or do _anything _**that might disturb the destiny of the next few minutes. Okay?" All the others nodded and agreed.

"What's gonna happen?" Aang asked eagerly.

"Still not telling," Dragon said slyly, "Why do you always have to ask questions? You're too nosy. That's why no one likes you." She vanished leaving Aang with a hurt look on his face.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Katara said comfortingly. Dragon reappeared.

"Yes I did," She said shortly and vanished again. Katara sighed.

"Quiet," Vita whispered, "Caesar's about to speak. Caesar was standing at a podium in front of the chairs. Katara looked at the men behind him. They were nodding to each other. Caesar cleared his throat. The other senate members snuck up behind Caesar bringing knives out from under their clothes. Katara gasped. _They're gonna kill him!_ Evidently, Zuko had realized too. Just as Katara was about to warn Caesar to move, Zuko grabbed her by the waist pulled her close to him and clasped his hand over her mouth. **AN: I _had _to do that, I couldn't resist.**

"Dragon said not to say nor do anything." Zuko whispered in her ear. Katara was helpless and stood there held in place by Zuko.

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears," Caesar began his speech but he was cut off as the man Katara recognized as Brutus, Caesar's best friend, stabbed him in the back, literally! Everyone heard Caesar gasp in pain. The senators surrounded Caesar cutting him off from his wife would had run up onto the podium only to a grabbed by a guard. More guards kept the public from helping their leader as he was stabbed to death by his friends. Katara and Co. were close enough to hear the last words Caesar choked out before he died. "You too, Brutus?" Zuko let Katara go. They all stood there. The guard released Caesar's wife and she ran to her husband's bloody dead body and sobbed.

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That night Dragon came to Katara as she overlooked the moonlit fields.

"You have to leave tomorrow," Dragon said,

"Why did they kill him?" Katara asked.

"Y'know I don't know…" Dragon said standing next to Katara.

"Where are you sending us next?"

"A hundred and twenty years into the future, give or take. You'll still be in Rome though."

"Can't we stay for a couple more days? I like it here."

"Sorry, but no. I want to go on with my story. Plus, Audro seems to really like you and the longer you stay, the more he'll like you. Hopefully I know the rules by now."

"No love," Katara sighed, "I know, I know."

"You should get some sleep," Dragon said, "I have to talk with the guys."

"Dragon," Katara said.

"Yeah?"

"G'night,"

"Good night, Katara." Dragon stepped out into the hallway. Katara lay down and was quickly asleep. "Wow that was schmaltzy!" Dragon said as she walked down the hall.

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The next morning at breakfast Katara spoke to Abbas.

"We really must be going," Katara said.

"Oh," Audro said, "Can't you stay a while longer?"

"No, we really must be going," Katara reassured him. Audro sighed.

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Outside a while later, the group stood before Orcus and her family. Orcus stepped up to them all in turn and hugged them all once. Audro kissed Katara's hand again and shook the hands of the guys.

"Will we ever see you again?" Abbas asked.

"I don't know," Sokka said.

"Well, you're always welcome," Abbas said.

"Thank you," Katara said. The four of them walked off and once they were over the hill, Dragon appeared.

"Good job," She said.

"So, what happens now?" Zuko asked.

"This." She said. Katara, Aang, Sokka and Zuko were thrown into another wormhole. It wasn't as bad this time but it was still uncomfortable. They landed in a marketplace similar to they first one. Only it seemed bigger this time. "You know what to do," Dragon said and she disappeared and the usual market noises came to their ears.

**Caesar never said this; it's a quote from Shakespeare's play, _Julius Caesar. _It was really said by Brutus Caesar's funeral in the play.**

**There another one down. As I said, Coliseum next chapter. Have a lovely life. R&R.**

**The Muffin Dragon**


	7. All Roads Lead to Rome

**_I went back and read the last chapter and I realized that I was extremely cruel to the gang. Then there was the schmaltzy moment between me and Katara. But there was some Zutara, only because I couldn't stop myself. I must know if you want to see more of any of that because more can be given, but I will NEVER KNOW if you NEVER REVIEW! I applaud my constant reviewers because they are great and they are the only thing, beside Meg, who keeps this manifestation of history and insanity and other stuff going. As promised, this chapter is the COLISEUM! Yay! _**

_**Some of this chapter was written by my friend, Meg. I said I'd use it. I'll give credit when it comes up.**_

**_Chapter SEVEN: All Roads Lead to Rome_**

_**XSeabiscutX, thanks for the title.**_

"Y'know," Sokka said, "It's not as horribly gruesome the second time."

"Hold on a sec," Dragon reappeared, "I made a small miscalculation. You're only eighty years in the future. Not 120. 'Kay? That's more for my readers than you really."

"Uh, okay," Zuko said. "You say this…why?"

"Insert usual answer for your stupid questions here. Because I can," Dragon said, "Keep an eye out for familiar faces by the way now that you have some connections. Toodles." With that she vanished.

"Alrighty then," Aang said. "Let's stay together this time, okay Zuko?"

Zuko sighed. _What other choice do I have? **Well, you could wander off on your own.**_ His other half said. _**You'll be fine. **I'm not so sure of that. _His thoughts argued. _I don't want a repeat of last time. **Oh, yeah…that crazy guy with the cabbage. But what are the odds of that happening?**_ As Zuko stood there fighting with himself, he was interrupted by a voice yelling, "Look out!" He was hit with a cart and as he lay on his side he saw a bunch of cabbages fall on the ground beside him and roll away. The carts owner yelled, "My cabbages!" Zuko promptly got up and not paying any attention grabbed Katara's hand and yelled to Sokka and Aang "Run!" The he ran through the crowd of people and animals and carts. Eventually he stopped to breath.

"What was that?" Katara asked breathless.

"Last time we were in this market, I ran into that same guy."

"He can't be the same. This is 80 years in the future."

"Then he's a relative with the same fetish for cabbage." They waited a while until their hearts stopped pounding. "Well, do you want to go find your brother and the Avatar?"

**** "Okay," Katara replied. The two of them casually walked through the throng. Katara stopped to look at a small display of necklaces with designs on them. Zuko cleared his throat loudly and they moved on.

"Oh, we're not gonna find them," Katara said after a while.

"Find who?" asked a voice Katara recognized as Aang's. Katara raised her head. Sure enough, it was Aang.

"Find you," she replied, "Where's Sokka?"

"Right here," Sokka said pushing through the people and coming into view.

"Good, we're all back together." Katara looked around at the crowd and saw a face she recognized and began running toward the person. "Orcus, is that you?" Katara asked as she came up to a girl who looked much like Orcus.

"Orcus was my Nana's name," the girl said, "I am Caelum, her granddaughter. You look like someone she once described to me. What's your name?"

"Katara." Caelum's jaw dropped.

"That's not possible," she said quietly. "My Nana met you 80 years ago. And you haven't aged a day."

"Uh actually," Katara said making up a lie, "I'm named after _my_ grandmother, Katara. Our grandmother's must have met."

"Hmm," Caelum mulled over it, "Makes enough sense." She finally said, "Are you here with friends or family?"

"Yes, actually," Katara replied, "Come with me." She made her way back to where she'd last been with Sokka and Aang and Zuko. They, luckily, were still there.

"This is my cousin, Sokka, and my friend," Katara began but Aang jumped out and introduced himself.

"Bonzu Pipinpadelopsocopolis, at your service!" **AN: The name was taken straight from the King of Omashu episode. As many may** **have noticed.**

"Pleased to meet you?" Caelum said smiling.

"And this is Zuko," Katara said politely. When Caelum laid her eyes on Zuko she blushed and shyly said 'hi'. Zuko nodded. Caelum cleared her throat.

"So, what are you in town for?" She asked Katara.

"Uh, just passing through."

"Well, if you aren't in a hurry or anything, would you like to come to a gladiator fight with me?"

"A gladiator fight?" Aang asked.

"Yes a gladiator fight," Dragon said she was sitting hovering in the air.

"What is it?"

"Two guys fight each other to the death. Or they fight a lion. Or they race in chariots. Or they flood they place and race in boats and fight each other at the same time. Or they have a bunch of Christians and they release a lion on them. Uh, you get the point."

"That sounds awful!" Katara exclaimed.

"Well, it can be as 'awful' as it wants, you're going,"

"I don't want to," Katara complained.

"Did I **ask **if you wanted to? I'll answer for you, no I did not ask if you wanted to nor would I ever do so. I say you're going so you **are going**!"

"Do _you_ enjoy this kind of entertainment?" Katara asked.

"Not really," Dragon retorted, "I'd rather have you go to an amphitheater to see a play, but I've promised my readers a chapter of Coliseumy goodness and by God, I'm gonna give it to them! Now hold on for a minute while I talk to Zuko." She grabbed Zuko roughly by the upper arm and yanked him around the corner. They were now in a dismal dark alley. Zuko shook Dragon off him. "See that man over there?" She pointed to a guy with long dark greasy hair. He was frozen looking over a boy no older than Zuko. They were the only ones in the alley. Zuko nodded. "Okay, he is looking for Rome's next superstar gladiator. Mostly because they all keep dying. I want you to talk to him and be his next superstar gladiator because trust me; you have the soul and the body to be a gladiator and more. When you walk by this alley, he'll see you and start talking to you, just say 'yes' to everything he says okay?"

"Why do I have to do this?" He asked simply.

"Because I said so," Dragon said looking him straight in the eye. Zuko sighed.

"Fine," he eventually said.

"Good, now go back to the others and don't tell them about our little talk. Okay?"

"Sure, whatever," Zuko went back to the other three.

"So what'd she want?" Aang asked.

"Nothing," Zuko replied.

"Okay," Aang said. Though Dragon wasn't in their sight anymore time started so she had to be gone.

"So what do you say?" Caelum asked.

"Sounds great!" Aang said happily. Caelum smiled.

"Follow me," she said. They all walked past the alley. As Zuko pasted he heard a voice whisper.

"Hey kid," Zuko turned to see the greasy man Dragon had pointed out to him.

"Yeah?" he stepped into the alley.

"How'd you like to be famous? Sleep with a different woman every night for the rest of your life?"

**_Sounds good. _**One half of Zuko's mind said. _I don't know_. He thought. "Keep talking," Zuko eventually said.

"Well, there's just **_one thing_** you have to do to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your days,"

"What is it?" Zuko asked, playing along.

"You gotta win a gladiator fight." The greasy man finished.

"Sounds easy enough," Zuko said.

"Good, you keep that state of mind," the greasy man said. "Follow me," He quickly walked out of the alley and started pushing through the crowd. Zuko struggled to keep up. In no time, they were out in front of the biggest white stone building Zuko had ever seen. The man yanked him into a side entrance. "We have to get you suited up," he said. In a matter of moments Zuko was wearing gray tunic with a shining helmet, a chest plate, and what looked like shin guards over it. The greasy man gave him a sword and a shield. Dragon appeared.

"Lookin' good," She said impressed looking at him up and down. "I want to, one, wish you good luck. And, two, remind you not to die please mainly because the fangirls would have my head on a platter!"

"Fangirls?" Zuko asked slightly freaked out.

"Yeah, girls with mental issues who worship you."

"I can't even start to say how completely disturbing that is,"

"You're telling me." She sighed. For the first time in a while, Zuko genuinely smiled and laughed softly. Dragon beamed back at him. "Luck," And she vanished.

"You ready?" the greasy man asked him.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Zuko said boldly as he walked out into the huge ring with several other young men his age.

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**A Few Minutes Earlier…**

"Awesome!" Aang said, "Four seats right up front!"

"What about Zuko?" Katara asked. "Where is he anyway?"

"Who cares?" Sokka asked. Katara scowled at him.

"The gladiators are coming out!" Caelum yelled over the crowd.

"Is that Zuko?" Katara yelled. She leaned forward and saw that it was indeed the prince. She gasped and almost fell over the edge. Sokka grabbed her hair and pulled her up. "Ow!" she screamed and she kicked Sokka.

"You're welcome," he said scoffing.

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**With Zuko**

_Oh, why did I listen to Dragon? This is crazy! I'm gonna die!_

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Augustus stood up in his high seat with a prime view and raised his hands for quiet.

"Who's that?" Katara asked looking at him.

"That's Augustus," Caelum said.

Augustus began to speak, "Good people of Rome, I am so glad that you have come here on this beautiful day to be entertained. So, without further ado, release the lions!"

"Fuck," Zuko said quietly as six huge lions were released from cages in the opposite side of the ring. **AN: This'll get gory. If you have a vivid imagination like me and don't like gore, don't read it. I think I owe you that warning. **Zuko jumped to the side as one of the beasts leapt at the guy next to him. He turned to see the young man dead having his throat torn. Zuko wanted to throw up. Due to his distraction, he didn't see another lion run up and tackle him. He fell hard on the ground and immediately put up his shield. The beast's claws went right through it and the shield was wrenched from his hand. The lion brought its claws up again. Having no shield, Zuko raised his arm to protect himself. There was no amour on his arms. The lion struck him and Zuko screamed in pain. The lion raised its claws a third time but this time it fell over on its side with a gleaming dagger sticking out from between his ribs and crimson blood running down its side and slowly pooling around him in the dusty ground. Zuko panted and looked around for the person who'd thrown the dagger that'd saved his life. He saw a tall young man run over to the lion's body and pull the poniard out of the lion's side. Zuko got up. His savior wiped the blood from his dagger on the lion's fur and put it in his belt. He nodded to Zuko. Zuko started to say thank you but instead pushed the young man out of the way and thrust his sword into the lion the had been charging at them. The beast fell and Zuko put his foot on the lion's neck and drew his sword from the lion's neck. Then he did as the other young man had done and wiped the blood on the lion's fur. Then he looked around. **AN: End gory sequence. **All the beasts were dead. Sadly though, so were all the other gladiators except himself and the young man who had saved him. He turned around to see his savior standing before him.

"You saved my life," the young man said.

"You saved me first," Zuko replied, "It was the least I could do." It was just then that Zuko noticed the crowd cheering. He also saw the Avatar, his peasants and Caelum running toward him across the ring. Katara ran right to him and looked like she was about to hug him but she restrained herself and instead said, **AN: Much of the following was written by Meg, who is the awesomest! **

"Are you okay? Oh, I was **so** worried!"

"Yeah, I'm- wait! Did you just say you were worried?" Zuko was slightly confused. _I thought she hated me._ Katara was blush furiously.

"W-well, yeah…we all were. Right guys?" She looked behind her at Aang and Sokka for support. Aang nodded slowly and Sokka shrugged. It was then that Katara saw the three gashes on Zuko's arm from the lion's claws and she gasped. She reached out to touch it but Zuko moved quickly away and growled at her like a feral animal. She grabbed his arm and made him wince. She looked closer at it. Katara whispered, "Oh, I wish we could still bend, then I could heal you,"

"I'll be fine," Zuko said smiling slightly despite the pain. **AN: Thanks again, Meg.** Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned to see the young man who'd saved him. Except, he wasn't a man at all. Zuko was staring into the face of a girl about his own age in full armor. "What the hell?" Zuko yelled in surprise. She laughed at him. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Aquila, I believe I saved your life," she replied with a smile.

"I saw that, nice job," Caelum said. "Zuko, this is my sister."

"Really? Well, thank you," Zuko said.

"The only reason I was going to these fights was because Aquila competes."

"Would you like to come stay at our home?" Aquila asked. "I can put some bandages on that arm of ours."

"That would be great," Zuko said. "I'm very tired."

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A couple hours later, they stood before the familiar house surrounded by farmlands. _It almost feels like home._ Zuko thought as they walked inside.

**I'm gonna have to stop there because I need to think about where to go from here. Hooray for the Coliseum. I've got name meanings. Caelum means sky and Aquila means eagle. I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written ever. 19 Pages. I'm very tired so I'm gonna go sleep. Have a lovely life. Until next time.**

**The Muffin Dragon**


	8. Rome Wasn't Built in a Day

**_Sorry it took so long. My school's spring musical has started and guess who has a principle role. I do. Is anyone familiar with the musical 'Little Mary Sunshine'? EXTREMELY IMPORTANT! MUST BE READ! I'll be dividing this large story into several smaller stories. This is the END of the Roman section right here! The next section will take us all from the time of the Vikings, all the way to the Renaissance. I don't know when that'll be made public but it'll be after me play is over. Performances are in April. So you'll all have to wait for about three months for this story to arise again. In the meantime, I'll most likely be publishing one-shots and drabbles and stuff, nothing big. Okay, I'm done gabbing. I'll let you read now._**

_**Chapter, um, Eight: Rome Wasn't Built in a Day**_

The group walked through the familiar hallways to the courtyard. Under the familiar honeysuckle sat a woman with dark brown hair of about her mid 30's. She stood and walked to them as they entered the courtyard.

"Hello," she said in a smooth intoxicating voice. "I foresaw that you would be coming today. Four travelers."

"You're a fortune teller?" Aang asked eagerly. She laughed softly.

"We prefer the term 'soothsayers' but yes, I am a… fortune teller. I am Calx. You are welcome to stay at our home." **AN: Calx means 'stone'**

"Thank you. That's very kind," Katara said. She heard Sokka cough and it sounded suspiciously like 'fake', she turned and glared at him. Sokka pointed to Zuko who punched Sokka in the gut. Sokka groaned and fell to his knees. They all turned back to Calx who was laughing brightly. _Her laughter is like a thousand rays of sunlight in my soul. _Zuko thought. **_What am I thinking? This woman has to be twice my age? _**His conscience interjected.

"Zuko, are you coming?" a voice snapped him from his thoughts. It was Aquila.

"Coming," he called. He followed Aquila into a dimly lit room.

"Let me see your arm," she said taking a jar and a roll of cloth off a shelf. Zuko sat on a cot by the wall as Aquila looked at his wound. "Ooo, nasty," she muttered. "Now this is gonna sting a lot," she said as she dipped her fingers in the jar and rubbing a paste-like substance on Zuko's gashes. Zuko fought the urge to cry out. He felt tears come to his eyes and was thankful for the dim lighting. "Okay," Aquila said after a minute. "Done," Zuko looked down to see his arm tightly bandaged. He reached out to touch it, but Aquila stopped his hand.

"Don't touch it," she whispered.

"Why?" Zuko asked and he looked into her hazel eyes.

"I'm not sure. My dad just always said never to touch bandaged wounds,"

"Makes enough sense," Zuko replied. By this time they were both looking into each other's eyes. Aquila moved closer to him and put her hand on his leg. "Wait!" Zuko interrupted just as Aquila leaned in to kiss him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I shouldn't kiss you because…." _Gotta come up with a lie. **I'm gay? **No, **Deathly sick? **No! **Married? **Bingo! _"I'm married!" Her reaction wasn't ideal. Zuko slowly watched her expression crumble. Tears came to her eyes. She wailed and ran out of the room crying.

"Now what'd you do that for?" Dragon asked.

"I…" Zuko began, but Dragon cut him off.

"_I _don't wanna hear it!" And she abruptly vanished.

"What'd I do?" Zuko asked the air. He walked out in to the hallway and saw Katara coming toward him.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Zuko said casually.

"Aquila doesn't seem like the girl who goes around crying all the time. You did something to her," Zuko told her what happened and she said, "Well you did do the right thing by not kissing her."

"Get out of my house!" a shrill shout came to their ears. Both turned to see Calx standing in an angry rage at the corridor corner. Before they could say anything she was in front of them. "No one dishonors _my_ daughter like that and lives to tell of it!" She raised her fists as though to fight him.

"Do you really want to fight me or would you like it more if we just left?" Zuko asked.

"Leaving would be nice," Calx said calmly.

"Then we'll be going," Katara stated and they walked off to find Sokka and Aang.

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The four of them sat in the grass over the hill beyond the house waiting for Dragon to come. Just as the sun was going down, Dragon appeared.

"I want to say something," she said 'sit' which was hovering three feet over the ground. "You have only one more time to visit for a very short while. Then I'm sending you home again back to your world for a while, but before you cheer and all that jazz, you should know that you'll be returning to this world soon. Not in this time anymore though."

"So we're going home?" Zuko asked. "But we've been gone for days."

"Day's here, in your world, nothing has changed. When you return everything will be exactly as you left it. Aang, your little sculpture is still standing, Katara there's a puddle where your water was. Sokka, you're wearing a groove in the grass, sleep somewhere else. Zuko, your candles are in mid-flare. Are you ready to go?" she finished and she stood up. They all nodded and they were sucked into the now familiar worm-hole. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They came out in the same market place, but it was far different.

"Rome, 476 A.D.," Dragon said.

They all looked around. There were men on horses with swords frozen it time slashing at the running people.

"Who are they," Aang asked.

"They're the Huns," Dragon answered. Moving through the living statues to a little girl with the hoof of one of the Hun's steeds only inches from her head. Dragon picked her up carefully and placed her beside a young woman with her arms outstretched to help the little girl.

"Why did you bring us here?" Sokka asked looking at Dragon as she went around removing people from certain death.

"Are we supposed to save them all?" Katara asked her, still Dragon didn't answer. After a minute they walked around doing what Dragon was doing. Dragon let this go on for a few minutes before she said,

"I just wanted you to see what happens to this wonderful city," she sighed. "Do you want to go home now?" she asked after a moment of silence. They all nodded. "I hope you've all learned something of yourselves and each other. Very well, remember, I could bring you back to this world at anytime so always be ready. Until that happy day, fare thee well." Into another rip in time and space they flew. Each landing in their exact spot where they had been before. Zuko grunted loudly when he hit the floor.

"Are you okay, Prince Zuko?" he heard the voice of his uncle.

"Fine, Uncle," he replied looking out his window, "Just fine,"

**-End-**

**Credits:**

**Starring: Aang, Katara, Zuko, Sokka and an insane amount of OCs and of course, Dragon**

**Written by: McMuffinDragon with crazy mad props goin' out to Meg, my cowriter**

**Directed by: McMuffinDragon**

**Edited by: Nobody! No one ever edited this!**

**Based on the crazy imagination of: McMuffinDragon**

**Special thanks: **

**The Creators of Avatar: The Last Airbender,**

**Meg, **

**Raina, **

**Mr. Siegfried, **

**almostinsane first reviewer for this story who spelled 'story' wrong in his review, **

**Gogglehead lover, always great to hear from you **

**Demonic Fire Angel, Toga! Toga!**

**KataraxZukoshipper, Coliseum-licous!**

**XSeabiscutX, **

**ArcherofDarkness and Callie, The first person to call me a manifestation of fantastical and McDonald's energy**

**And all my other reviewers, I'm just tired of typing but you're all awesome**

**Last but not least: Maidenhair, the wonderful person who showed me the wonderful world of fanfiction**

**So until next time, The Muffin Dragon bids you, adieu! –swishes cape and disappears-**


End file.
